tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168462772011-04-21T10:53:24.260-07:00when they ask i always answer<BR>"i juggle to distract myself from my obsession with my boyfriend who doesn't want me and, hopefully, to earn some college tuition fees."<BR><BR> The day i first juggled i talked to a tarrot card reader and picked up a juggler card. he told me i would get dumped and get deferred by my first-choice university. i wandered in the streets and ran into a juggler hired to promote "lush" products.she juggleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16230129358032556951noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16846277.post-1126998851889965942005-09-17T15:58:00.000-07:002005-09-17T20:03:54.230-07:00<span style="font-size:85%;">i read a lot.<br />i read all sorts of books - and by all sorts, i mean it.<br />i can be reading milan kundera's "laughable loves" this second<br />and be flipping one of the "gossip girl" books the next second.<br />my boyfriend used to find this funny.<br /><br />anyway.<br />yesterday i went to a bookstore and bought the book "twins" by marcy dermansky.<br />the book's about two beautiful, blond twins' "growing pains".<br />you know, that sort of typical suffering-teen books.<br />(but i love them anyway)<br />one of the twins was a "rebel". her name is Sue.<br />she's bulimic, possessive and random.<br />i'm possessive. i'm very possessive.<br />and i wanted to be like sue.<br />i know this sounds funny, wanting to be a character in a book.<br />you know how some people can get really influenced by books?<br />unfortunately i'm one of them.<br />i wanted to do something that she did.<br />she rode a unicycle and juggled weird shit and had her head shaved and loved women.<br />i can't even ride a bicycle and i love my hair and men,<br />so juggling would be the obvious choice.<br />but before i juggle "weird shit",</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">i would have to learn to juggle "ordinary shit" first.<br />this morning i typed in "how to juggle" in google, clicked into one of the results.<br />i took three of the mega lego-blocks;<br />one red, one green and the third blue;<br />and started juggling.<br /><br />it took 2 hours to learn to juggle but i was happy.<br />it took my mind off my boyfriend for 2 complete hours.<br />he loves me no more. i wonder if he actually ever had.<br />he doesn't return my calls.<br />avoids me.<br />doesn't look at me in the eyes when i finally get to meet him for a short dinner.<br />i kept on juggling.<br />maybe, i thought to myself, he would find me interesting if i juggle.<br />he thought i'm boring and was suffocated by my possessiveness.<br />i'm not cool enough for him. i do mundane things.<br />he smokes weed, drinks, goes to parties and never mentions that to me.<br />i want him back.<br />and i loved juggling, too.<br />they contradict each other, my reasons for juggling.<br />one to get my mind off him,<br />and other to get him back.<br /><br /><br />anyhow<br />i'm planning to juggle on the streets<br />when i'm good enough<br />to maybe earn a couple of dollars.<br />who knows? maybe dad and mom wouldn't have to worry about my college tuition fees.<br /><br /><br />then this afternoon i went downtown.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><em>note: please stop leaving those ad-comments. they fucking annoy me.</em></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/16846277-112699885188996594?l=shejuggles.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>she juggleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16230129358032556951noreply@blogger.com2